It was a gray Saturday when the wind blew open my window
and from the mist a voice sayeth: Turn on National Geographic channel for a glimpse into thy future...
I gasped at the visage - a documentary about Russian Internet Bride services but worse: neverbefore seen hideous and yet no doubt the face of noneother than mine own! I was clasping hands with an underage Slavic girl who is biting her bottom lip in our wedding photo.
I saw a vision of a website called Russian Wife You Want? where I would peruse the available mates.
I would search their eyes for the Least Sad of them all
And She I would make my wife.
FAST FORWARD: The time has arrived to make a Russian woman my bride and I need you to help me make up my mind!!
VOTE in the comments section below...
1. Marta; 29: bartender.
"I like man who take charge... buy mink coat for woman and take to movies on weekEND."
2. Olga; 36: seamstress.
"I think woman job is take care of man. Please don't send me home."
3. Svetlana; 32: philosopher.
"I want man who have access to health care and strong dental plan. I will have two babies but no more. High alcohol tolerance."