INTERIOR. NIGHT.
A living room. A television sits muted, with a game show playing.There are two couches in the room. One person sits on each.
A woman, SANGRIA, is hemming a green pantsuit.
CHAZ is sitting opposite her and exfoliating his heels.In front of him on the floor is a pile of dead skin.
SANGRIA:
Chaz, I think I’m suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
CHAZ:
What’s that Sangria?
SANGRIA:
It’s like when something bad happens and then after it happens you’re still all jumpy and s**t.
CHAZ:
What happened to give you post-traumatic stress disorder Sangria?
SANGRIA:
Well – the other day I was eating at one of those combo fast food places… you know what I’m talking about? Like, they have those Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo places…
CHAZ:
I’m familiar with the concept. Two restaurants owned by the same conglomerate share a workspace.
SANGRIA:
Well, I was eating at this combo Hardee’s/Long John Silver’s places and a rat crawled out of my Grilled Rib Meat Sandwich.
CHAZ:
NO!
SANGRIA:
Yes! This really happened – right in front of my face.
CHAZ:
What’d you do? I mean damn girl I don’t know what I would do if that happened to me…
SANGRIA:
Wasn’t nothing I could do. I mean, it was gross when it happened but I just tried not to think about it and finished my sandwich.
CHAZ:
Wait – you finished it?
SANGRIA:
Hell yeah! Thing was $15! I’m damn sure gonna finish it if I pay that much for a sandwich.
CHAZ:
Damn girl… you wrong.
SANGRIA:
What??
CHAZ:
I mean, how are you gonna eat something that had a rat sleeping on it two seconds before you put it in your mouth? That’s nasty!!
SANGRIA:
YOU NASTY!!
CHAZ:
Me?!? You’re one who ate a rat’s sleeping bag!! Calling me nasty…
SANGRIA:
That’s it!!
CHAZ:
That’s what???
SANGRIA:
That’s IT motherf**ker. I’m done. Take your stankin’ ass pant-suit and get the hell out!
CHAZ:
But you’re not done hemming it!
SANGRIA:Shoulda thought about that before you started making fun of my eating habits be-atch.
CHAZ:
That’s cold.
SANGRIA:
Well I’m cold.
Oh – and Chaz … you look like a womens basketball coach in that pant-suit. Go to Men’s Warehouse or something.
A living room. A television sits muted, with a game show playing.There are two couches in the room. One person sits on each.
A woman, SANGRIA, is hemming a green pantsuit.
CHAZ is sitting opposite her and exfoliating his heels.In front of him on the floor is a pile of dead skin.
SANGRIA:
Chaz, I think I’m suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
CHAZ:
What’s that Sangria?
SANGRIA:
It’s like when something bad happens and then after it happens you’re still all jumpy and s**t.
CHAZ:
What happened to give you post-traumatic stress disorder Sangria?
SANGRIA:
Well – the other day I was eating at one of those combo fast food places… you know what I’m talking about? Like, they have those Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo places…
CHAZ:
I’m familiar with the concept. Two restaurants owned by the same conglomerate share a workspace.
SANGRIA:
Well, I was eating at this combo Hardee’s/Long John Silver’s places and a rat crawled out of my Grilled Rib Meat Sandwich.
CHAZ:
NO!
SANGRIA:
Yes! This really happened – right in front of my face.
CHAZ:
What’d you do? I mean damn girl I don’t know what I would do if that happened to me…
SANGRIA:
Wasn’t nothing I could do. I mean, it was gross when it happened but I just tried not to think about it and finished my sandwich.
CHAZ:
Wait – you finished it?
SANGRIA:
Hell yeah! Thing was $15! I’m damn sure gonna finish it if I pay that much for a sandwich.
CHAZ:
Damn girl… you wrong.
SANGRIA:
What??
CHAZ:
I mean, how are you gonna eat something that had a rat sleeping on it two seconds before you put it in your mouth? That’s nasty!!
SANGRIA:
YOU NASTY!!
CHAZ:
Me?!? You’re one who ate a rat’s sleeping bag!! Calling me nasty…
SANGRIA:
That’s it!!
CHAZ:
That’s what???
SANGRIA:
That’s IT motherf**ker. I’m done. Take your stankin’ ass pant-suit and get the hell out!
CHAZ:
But you’re not done hemming it!
SANGRIA:Shoulda thought about that before you started making fun of my eating habits be-atch.
CHAZ:
That’s cold.
SANGRIA:
Well I’m cold.
Oh – and Chaz … you look like a womens basketball coach in that pant-suit. Go to Men’s Warehouse or something.
