Do you mind if I make a documentary about you?
(About how weird you are).
I'll get a grant to pay for it and we'll interview people
who know you and your ex-girlfriends.
I'll follow you around with camera and we'll see what your day is like.
I will inundate you with hyp(er) THETICAL questions about
how you would react in certain situations. And then wait in erotic expectantcy for
your amazing answers.
What would you do if someone cut you off in traffic on Christmas Eve in the parking lot of Old Navy?
I'd get out. Walk up to the driver's side door and kick their f***in' side-view mirrors off.
Fascinating.
What would you do if your neighbor dumped a bunch of brush into your backyard?
Use a blade on him - cut a rectangular shape into his back. Pour a gallon of nail polish onto his hood. Set the woods on fire.
Thank-you.
