Erykah Badu

All My Exes
An infrequent series of essays about ex-girlfriends and boyfriends.

Those beads aren’t for decoration. I’ll explain later.
(Let’s hope she used some hand sanitizer after this photo shoot).

I used to love her… Erykah Badu


The best of times:Getting a shout-out during the 2001 BET Awards from Erykah. Our relationship had hit a high point and we were happy. If only for a moment.

The worst of times: The wigs are cool, don’t get me wrong. But seeing them hanging up in her closet makes you feel like you’re dating a serial killer who “likes to collects things from her victims.”

Proudest moment: Using one of her own songs as an insult during one of our fights. We were standing outside of a Huddle House in Indianapolis when she said she was going to take my name off the lease for our apartment in Dallas. I told her go ahead, while holding my cell phone out in her direction – then I froze and sang “… but you can’t use my phoooone!”

Most embarrassing moment: Getting slapped in the parking lot of a Huddle House in Indianapolis while approximately 35 people stood watching. And pointing. Oh yeah, and laughing – did I mention the laughing?